The Divergent Series: Allegiant

If youre not mad as hell, so mad that youre not gonna take it anymore, then you damn well ought to be. The Divergent Series: Allegiant is another one of those cynical Hollywood cash grabs that takes the third book in bestselling juvie-lit trilogy (see Twilight and The Hunger Games) and stretches that last book into two movies so audiences are tricked into paying twice for egregiously padded piffle. Diligent Divergent readers probably know Veronica Roths third book was hardly good enough for one movie. So the screenwriters actually invent stuff of their own. If only their stuff had a spark of life it might be forgivable, but Allegiant plods along like a franchise on its last legs. Who remembers where we left off last time in Insurgent? My point exactly no one.

Shailene Woodley, who deserves better than working paycheck duty, is back as Tris or The One of whatever you want to call her. She hangs out in Dystopian Chicago where evil leader Jeanine (Kate Winslet) has been replaced by evil Evelyn (Naomie Watts). Evelyns plans for domination send Tris over the wall, along with her hunky love, Four (Theo James), her brother Caleb (Ansel Elgort), her friend Christina (Zoe Kravitz) and Peter, so cleverly played by Miles Teller that we dont know whos side hes on. However, I should remind you that Evelyn is Fours mother and that a new villain pops up in the form of commander David (Jeff Daniels) whos a honcho at the Bureau of Genetic Welfare located on the grounds of Chicagos former OHare Airport.

Intrigued? Dont be. You thought maybe the old caste cast system that divided the city into five factions (Erudite, Abnegation, Candor, Dauntless, Amity) died with Jeanine. Jokes on you. Davids got his own system, which basically turns his new plan into the same old plan we had before with worse screenwriting, lousier acting, tortoise-pacing and way cheesier computer effects. Director Robert Schwentke and his trio of writers havent given us a single reason to hang around for the last installment, due out next year and laughably called Ascendant ironic, considering the only place the misbegotten series is going is down down down.