Watch Tiffany Haddishs Wild Film Critics Circle Awards Speech

Tiffany Haddish reflected on her remarkable breakout year, encouraged budding artists to speak their truth and described a deleted scene from Girls Trip during a riotous 17-minute speech at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards Wednesday. Haddish was accepting the organizations supporting actress award for her turn in Girls Trip.

Haddish opened by praising the nights drink special named in her honor, checking to see if her name was spelled correctly on her award, thanked God, her parents and then riffed on the similarities between herself and the statue of the Hindu goddess, Quan Yin, standing behind her.

And when I look at her, I feel like Im looking at myself, Haddish said. Like she taking a nap, but she doing a lot of stuff all at the same time. Thats what my life has been like the last year. Im asleep, but Im woke. Ive never been more tired in my whole entire existence, and I feel like I do all these things She got the sun in her hand because she light this motherfucker up. Thats me too!

Haddish peppered in thank-yous to various friends and co-workers throughout the speech, as well as the New York Film Critics Circle while also gently ribbing its members. Haddish said she she never read critics (If it hurt my feelings Im going to cuss their ass out in my soul, and then Im going to pray for them, she cracked), but noted how much it meant to be recognized after working in stand-up comedy and entertainment for 17 years.

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I know Im going to do a lot of different things in this business. Im going to be around here a long time. Im going to be an old lady. I know some people in here are going to talk shit about me. Its OK. You know why its OK? Because you care enough to say something. If you didnt say nothing, then you didnt care. So if you said something, thank you. I dont care if its positive or negative. I appreciate you. Im glad you see me. Because its been so many years nobody saw me.

Haddish linked her years in Hollywood obscurity to growing up in the foster care system, where she said she often wondered, Does anybody even know Im alive? She said how much it meant to now be an inspiration to kids just like her, telling the crowd, Theres so many people like me that you guys have no clue about. But they coming. Because I kicked the fucking door open.

Haddish continued, Stop holding your truth; speak your truth. Be yourself. Its the healthiest way to be. Be who you are. Speak who you are. If dont nobody like you, fuck it; theres 10 other people that do. Theres somebody like you, and they need to hear you.

Later in the speech, Haddish spoke about how she landed her role in Girls Trip, noting that it was crew members on the set of Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Keys film, Keanu, who first passed her the script. At first she was unable to get an audition, saying the filmmakers were only looking for big-name actresses (You tell them Ive had a name since 1979, Haddish instructed her agent), but eventually she was able to audition for director Malcolm D. Lee over Skype.

I thought [that] was crazy as hell because Im used to Skype sex, Haddish cracked. So I didnt know it worked out good. I didnt take my shirt off. Nothing inappropriate happened, so good job. That was a great joke; that was the truth.

Prior to this story, Haddish recalled an outrageous scene that did not make it into the final cut ofGirls Trip because the studio apparently said they was afraid that women would actually do this shit.

So, theres a scene where I tell Regina [Hall] all the things I would do for her, that I got her back, no matter what, Haddish said. Im like, no matter what, I got your back. Im talking Timberland boots, hot bricks I dont care. Were going to give him [ostensibly Mike Colters character, Stewart] some Ambien, night night. And then, when he sleep, were going to burn your name in his dick. And then were going to put mud and salt on it so it can keloid over, and then it will be ribbed for your pleasure. And then when he wake up, well look him dead in his eyes, and well tell him right to his face to keep your name out these bitches mouths.

Haddish closed with her thoughts on fear and taking control of your emotions, as well as Hollywood. I think this whole business is about how you feel, and what feeling you put out into the world, and how you make other people feel, she said. When you feel good about what youre doing, in my mind, you make other people feel good.